There is so much that happens in the “silence”, the time of stillness when things don’t seem to move on the surface, yet a whole other story is unfolding underneath. Often, these moments are about facing the unknown and learning to trust what lies beneath.
The mental gymnastics we do for even a slice of certainty are quite spectacular. From creating endless possible scenarios to falling into self-doubt and procrastination, we go to great lengths in search of answers.
It’s no wonder we do all we can to avoid uncertainty. We are still figuring out how to move through it.
There is a kind of psychological safety in contracts, plans, and social structures.
But how much safety do they really provide?
Why We Struggle with Uncertainty
We long for predictability and permanence because change usually brings discomfort.
It’s easier to continue with life and work as we’ve always done than to be pushed outside our comfort zone and learn to do things differently. We know growth is good for us, but we don’t always like it.
Facing the unknown is one of those moments.
We don’t know what’s coming, but we suspect it may be challenging. Not having answers, a plan, or a clear path forward can make us doubt ourselves.
Yet uncertainty is something we live with all the time. We simply feel it more strongly when something shifts in our world and exposes us to that reality.
The Illusion of Safety
We seek safety in validation, plans, predictions, and structure, and there are good reasons for that.
Beyond our brain’s need for answers (regardless of how true or realistic they are), there’s also practicality behind it. Our need for security, belonging, and esteem often drives us toward the safer option.
We don’t like to fail, so we play the odds.
But our perceived safety doesn’t always reflect reality.
Validation doesn’t equal truth or success.
Plans and predictions are only ideas about the future.
Structures fall apart all the time.
The positive side of this is that when we do find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, it becomes easier to see that our fears are often reflections of our own perception of the world.
Our brain, in its effort to protect us, creates all sorts of scenarios, but we don’t have to believe them.
When Life Feels Stuck
Not knowing what’s next, what to do, which turn to take, can feel paralysing.
Sometimes that uncertainty slows things down so much that we feel as though we’ve stopped moving altogether.
We may feel pressure to make the right decision because it seems so easy to make the wrong one.
And yet, moving forward in any direction is often better than standing still.
But even that can take time.
What Stillness Is Really Teaching You
Don’t be fooled by the stillness.
Even when you can’t see it, things are unfolding in the background, quietly preparing you for your next steps.
This is the time for mastering patience, acceptance, and self-trust.
Progress doesn’t always appear in the form of answers, at least not immediately. Sometimes it shows up as more questions, gently nudging us in the right direction.
Allow Yourself to Pause so You Can Move Forward
Give yourself permission not to know. Take a breather and simply allow things to flow for a while.
The more desperately we search for answers just to move on, the more pressure we place on ourselves. In that rush, it’s easy to make sacrifices and lose sight of our deeper why, all in an attempt to find solutions and get things moving again.
But change is inevitable, and it often arrives as an invitation to reflect and realign.
When we lean into it and embrace its peculiarities, rather than trying to escape it, we create space to reconnect with what truly matters. And in doing so, we often find ourselves moving closer to our why.
